Written by The Relationship Mechanic
January 31, 2011
TEST There have been a few occasions in which i have been asked my opinion... on the latest girlfriend or boyfriend of friends and family (something I find very hard to do at times). They always ask me... if the person they have met will be a good match for them or if they would make it as a couple. I usually give them the standard answer..."I don't know". However that's not entirely true. I watch for signs in their interactions with each other... warning signs if you will, that this latest connection won't last long.
Sometime during the summer I met a friend of a woman I know while on a double date. The friend was accompanied by a man she was familiar with and stated that she found really interesting. During the date, I observed her body language and his body language. It wasn't long before I could see the date was going to end as soon as the check hit the table. He was very aloof and stand offish. He laid back from the table with his body slightly turned toward his date. She on the other hand was completely turned away from him, almost with her back to him, but sitting erect in her chair. While he was quietly scanning the room behind me as I sat across the table from him. I notice a light smirk of contempt for the situation on his face. However she was completely engaged in a conversation with us across the table. I attempted to save the situation and invited her date to join the conversation by asking him to share his opinion on the subject. He looked startled....that deer in the head light look crossed his face. I felt panicked and wanted to stomp the brakes and swerve to avoid hitting him. Luckily he snapped out of his daze and began to speak. He sat up in his chair, and leaned forward to contribute to the discussion. His date turned towards him as if to give him her full attention, but stopped short of a 180° in her chair and answered for him.
Later I was able to talk to her date, we had a small "Come to Jesus Meeting" when the women went to the bathroom. In so many words, he told me he was sure the two of them was a perfect match. I was completely floored. How could he be so blind to the signals she was giving? Then again, he really didn't care to pay attention. He clearly missed... HER MEMO... short of getting up from the table and leaving him with the bill, and even worse US with him. He never paid attention to the signs... Her BODY LANGUAGE! So you know what happen... He Lost One (Her)!
On occasion we have tendency to be completely oblivious to the subtle messages in body language.