It's not you, It's your badass kids!
Written by The Relationship Mechanic
January 23, 2011
TEST I was talking with a friend the other day about some dating experiences he had in the past, it was the typical type of conversation about his dates. We talked about what he liked about one particular woman and what he didn't like about another. He really wasn't saying anything surprising to me, until he began to discuss this one woman in particular. I could tell that he really liked this woman. He described her as being really smart, attractive, warm, and interesting. His face perked up and smiled as he described the date. Just as quickly as his demeanor perked up, it fell even quicker as he described his experience with her four children. I could tell he wasn't going to call her for another date anytime soon.
Although it may not seem like a big thing with dating someone with children, it can in fact be a major deal breaker. In talking with other men who are dating women, the question often comes up, "Would you date a woman with children?" Aside from the usual responses, there seemed to be one reoccurring conclusion among the men. The fact that the woman had children really wasn't the problem. In fact it was becoming expected by men who were dating. Some men didn't even mind the number of children a woman had at the time, neither the ages of the children. What seemed to be the number one concern for men dating a woman with children was the children behavior. Many of the men were more concerned with the behavior of the children rather than the fact that the woman had children.
One man in particular, described a horrific experience he had over a four month relationship with a woman and her two children. He sated that she was everything he wanted in a woman. Smart, educated, professional, caring, and nurturing. She was mother to two children, a boy of 9 years of age and a daughter of 12. For the first few outings with her and the children things went really well, sometime after the children got comfortable their beautiful personalities turned demonic.
The twelve year old decided that her curfew was too early and came home sometime after midnight on a summer night. When her mother went to address the child's delinquent behavior, she was hit with a barrage of profanities, and disrespectful comments. He said he fell to the floor and covered his head expecting the twelve year old's teeth to go flying through the air like bomb shrapnel. To his surprise and disbelief the mother continued to argue with the child well into the early morning.
As he continued to spend time with the woman and her children the children's poor behavior and disrespect seem to worsen. The children's disrespect, lying, laziness, stealing, and abusive behavior continued unaddressed by the mother. He started to wonder about the control the woman had over her home, children and her life if she was unable to control her children. He quickly realized, the woman was looking for Captain Save a Sista to control her children and her life. When the relationship ended, he said there was little he could remember about the relationship, but he remembered everything about the children's behavior. It was just too much for him to learn to love a woman and discipline her children at the same time.
Although this may not be the case for a lot of single parents out there, but for those who wonder why they didn't get a call after their new love meets the family. You might want to take a look at the children. They maybe telling you, to fix your home life before you attempt to fix your love life.
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